The Friday Update - Crisis Counseling

Happy Friday,

A friend recently sat sobbing in a hospital hallway. The specifics are not important. All you need to know is that she was overwhelmed and alone. Thankfully, after a few long minutes — during which several people walked past — a young nurse sat down next to her. She handed my friend a box of Kleenex and kindly said, “Tell me about it. Or don’t.” The message was, “You’re not alone. I’m willing to listen. Or just sit next to you while you cry. What I’m not willing to do is let you cry alone.”

Crisis Counseling 101

I’m sometimes asked what to say when someone’s life turns tragic. My answer is “as little as possible. Just show up and cry.” There may be a moment months (or years) later when they want to explore life’s mysteries and God’s providence. But that moment is far away. They do not need to hear you say anything like, “I know how you feel.” “It will be OK.” Or “God has a purpose for everything.” They need someone willing to sit with them and cry. Job’s friends were doing great until they started talking.

WOTW

Honorable mention goes to: 1) narrative warfare (the strategic use of stories to shape people’s perception of reality, especially in the context of military, political or ideological conflict); 2) ABUSA (an investment abbreviation meaning Anywhere But the U. S. A.); 3) Halfbacks (northerners who moved south only to decide they want to move “halfway back” – e.g., after jumping from Chicago to Orlando they now want to live in Asheville, NC or Nashville, TN); and 4) Tesla Anxiety (the angst felt by those who bought a Tesla to make a statement, only to find it now advertises the opposite).  Full honors go to post-progressive, which I saw for the first time in this WSJ article. It joins the fraternity of other posts — e.g., postmodern, post-structural, post-colonial, post-truth, post-liberal, post-industrial, post-capitalist, post-Christian, post-pandemic and post-racial — in an effort to describe what we are no longer. I doubt we’ve seen an end to this list and I suspect I’ll be post-traumatic before it’s over. But could we be “pre” something? 

Advice I’m Willing to Pass Along

Not all the free advice I receive about how I might do my job better is worth passing along, but I recently heard two things that are: 1) Expect less affirmation. Most people are too busy waiting for you to affirm them to think about affirming you; and 2) Be what you hope to see. If you are hoping for grace, kindness and compassion, extend that to others. (I actually think I’ve heard the second one before. Something about “do unto others….”.) 

Yes!

At the recommendation of a friend, I’m reading A.G. Sertillanges, The Intellectual Life: It’s Spirit, Conditions, Methods. It’s an old book and I’ve only just begun, but I hit paydirt early with a line claiming that courage comes “from the premonition of the empire to come.” Yes. We must live today in light of His promise to bring His empire kingdom. Much depends on holding this truth front and center. Eternity changes everything.

Without Comment

1) 347 billion emails will be sent today. (347 billion and one counting this one.) 45% are spam, but the remaining 190B is 5X greater than the number of texts that will be sent.

2) Highly educated Americans are more likely to attend religious services than those with only a high school degree, according to scholar Ryan Burge’s data.

3) 26% of American 20-year-olds have a negative view of the Jewish people, compared to only 5% of 80-year-olds, according to pollster David Shore.

Question

When was the last time you felt caught up? If you’re looking back more than a few weeks — e.g., if you’re debating between June of 82 or November of 83 — you might be “stuck on hurry.”

The Big Four

Thomas Brooks, a 17^th century English Puritan, argued that there are four things that demand study and attention: Jesus, the Bible, and — can you guess 3 and 4? (Hint: the Dow, AI and Zach King’s Magic Ride video are not among the right answers. Not even the Cubs dominance of the NL Central division is correct.)

Overheard

1) The spirituality of the Spiritual But Not Religious seldom demands repentance or sacrifice.

2) Empathy has become a new Rorschach test, with some celebrating it, others decrying it and little of it being shown by either camp.

3) The vocal range of Americans is flattening. Our “monotonicity” means less inflection in speaking and reduced range in singing. 

Numbers 3 and 4

In Precious Remedies Against Satan’s Devices, Thomas Brooks said we must also pay attention to our heart and to our enemy’s tactics. He wrote, “Christ, the Scripture, your own hearts and Satan’s devices are the four prime things that should be first and most studied and searched. If any cast off the study of these, they cannot be safe here, nor happy in the hereafter.”

Resources

1) Listen to last week’s sermon, in which I explore how to trust God, based on Psalm 120.

2) Click here for information on Lakelight’s Wired for Wisdom, a panel discussion bringing AI & Faith into Dialogue. In “an age where technology moves faster than reflection” this is a chance to gain wisdom for the days ahead.

Closing Prayer

“O Lord God, Never leave me nor forsake me, but have mercy upon me for your great name's sake. And not for myself alone do I ask these blessings, but for all the poor and needy, all widows and fatherless children, and for the stranger in distress; and may they call upon you in such manner as to be convinced that you are a prayer-hearer and prayer-answering God; and yours shall be the praise, forever. Amen. ” (Maria W. Stewart - 1803 - 1879)

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